Back to school and I went into the hall aged 10 with the pretty girls, in their dresses and pigtails knowing I wanted to play the flute. There were three flutes available to four of us…guess who got landed with the violin? I am convinced that the flute went to the prettily dressed girls as it is a dainty instrument and is somehow just a good fit for a young girls first delve into the learning of a classical musical instrument. I later got given a flute at around the age of 24 and taught myself to play it, I loved it. I think I mainly enjoyed the lessons I had on my violin. It was a much nicer experience than being in the classroom. I was also with a small group, maybe three of us. I therefore had more attention, more help and more support. I also did not feel overwhelmed as I so often did when with the whole class.
Throughout primary school I desperately tried to make friends but I did not always go about it in the right way. At the top of our coat hangers in the cloakroom there were little wooden and metal cubby holes for our black plimsoles to stay between P.E lessons. There was no P.E bag in those days, no P.E uniform with a school logo on. When getting ready we just did our games in our vests and pants and of course no-one batted an eyelid. So, one day in the plimsole cubby hole I once saw a little bracelet made up of small white beads. I thought it was lovely and knew exactly what I could do with it, so I took it. Yes, I stole it.
I hid it in my pocket and whilst the whole class sat on the carpet for the morning register, I pulled using both hands and broke the delicate bracelet string. I then began to give out the little beads to those girls sitting near me. The purpose was to get friends and I thought that if I gave them something, then I might just gain their friendship in return. I actually thought it would happen but of course it had the opposite effect. The teacher saw me and I remember being in a lot of trouble which of course was right after all, who would want to be friends with a thief? I cannot remember whose bracelet it was, but really that poor little girl, I am truly sorry.
It was not all doom and gloom in my primary school however. I remember the annual summer fayre set out on the school field and in the school hall. One year I remember we went mad making woollen pompoms. We would sit wrapping different coloured wool around circles of card, then cut the card away and be left with cute little creatures. We would then add a pair of eyes, maybe those plastic googly eyes and a knotted thread of wool to enable them to hang up. Practical things like that were fine and enjoyable for me to be a part of, there was no need for reading, writing or spelling to be done. I also remember Christmas discos of 1973 with Slade in the charts with their song Merry Christmas Everyone. Tiger feet by mud was I think the song the following year. Halloween was also celebrated in the hall. I remember bobbing apples in a bowl of water and trying to catch apples hanging form string on a makeshift washing line with my teeth, eating them as they bobbed violently in all directions known to man.
The main thing I remember and the highlight of the summer fayre was always the children’s raffle. I cannot remember if the school gave each child a raffle ticket or if each child bought their own. Either way we each had just one. Once the main raffle had been drawn and was over, it was the turn of all the children present to sit and clutch their oh so special little ticket. I remember we all sat in the hall with wide open eyes eagerly waiting for that one ticket to be drawn out.
I never did ever win and I remember the emotion I felt. I liken this feeling to the wonderful scene in Charlie and the chocolate factory by the amazing Roald Dhal. Of course I have not read the book, but I have seen both film versions countless times. When Charlie Bucket finds that coin in the gutter, oh my goodness, the flood of emotion. Yes, it is a completely different emotion but it is just as intense.
One girl I remember won the baby doll which I so wanted. I played at her house a few months later and of course the doll was there. I was heartbroken to see that she had glued the eyes down closed tight and I even think she cut her hair. How could she do that? To that beautiful baby doll.
School also took the oldest children on a school residential each year. I remember going to Saltburn by the sea. It was pretty grim the whole week. I was made fun of as I had not got as much spending money as the other children and I think I ran out by about Wednesday. One day we went down onto the rocky beach to look for fossils. I remember I was getting frustrated as I could not find any. So much so that I threw a rock down onto other nearby rocks in anger. The rock of course smashed into two pieces only to revel two fossils one either side. I was not allowed to have either of those fossils as I had thrown the rock. How awful to have been the one to find the fossils but to have them taken away from me, how cruel. We sat in a circle singing campfire songs, one of which was about being ‘down among the dead men’ and I felt awful as I knew no-one liked me.
We had to go swimming each week, into Leicester city centre on a school coach. No seat belts then, we would run and grab the back seat and sing songs there and back. We sang innocent songs like Milly Molly Mandy. I hated swimming, having those dreadful rubber swimming hats forced so painfully down onto your head. We were taught to swim in the small pool, which was cold, dark and dingy. I remember a teacher trying to teach me to dive, form a sitting position with outstretched arms coming together in a point as both hands touched. I sat with my swimming costume too big for me, so as to save money no doubt.
The trouble was though that it gaped forward exposing my chest. I never did get the hang of diving, sitting or standing and hated my school swimming lessons. After the lesson ended, we would always go upstairs to the bar area and buy 1p or 2p sweets. Can you imagine that today. I had no money of course so I use to raid my mums coat pockets before leaving to walk to school on a swimming day. I would often find a 1p or 2p coin so that always went down well. I would give some sweets away to other children in an effort to make friends, it never worked, or if it did it was short lived.
It soon became time for me to leave the relatively secure confines of the primary school environment, as along with the whole class, we had outgrown our primary years from the age of 5 to 11. Our teacher asked us one day to make a list… a list for goodness sake, of the friends we would like to be with in Secondary school! I wondered how many friends constituted a list as I began to write down names of the children, I thought could offer me help with my spelling!
CHOOSING FRIENDS
When it came time
to choose friends
to be with
when moving up to Secondary school
all I could think of was
who would help most?
With spelling so weak as a rule.
So,
I chose a girl,
I thought clever
although never really a friend.
But,
I wasn’t put with her
instead with two bullies
would my terror never end?
Each day at secondary
was worse than primary
something I never thought would be
but as I look back,
those hard
primary days
are
by far the happiest I see!
